Cyberbully
by StopCriticsUnited
Summary: When Amy posts some fanfiction she shouldn't she, Rory, and The Doctor come face to face with a brand new form of cyber threat from a vigilante group known as Critics United, in the form of a creature known as the Cyberbully.


**Author's Note:** This story is a satirical response to the group Critics United who is plaguing with their vigilante reporting of story violations. For more information, please refer to my profile. I've decided to take the fight against CU to the fans to raise awareness before they're lambasted with the cyberbullying tactics of CU.

**Cyberbully**

Amy touched the left side of her laptop as she eased herself into the slippery wooden chair that the Cardiff café she was at had provided for her. The plastic was already warm and she hadn't even begun to sip her latte yet. "It's probably time for a new laptop," she mumbled as the password screen appeared. She set her fingers to home row she typed in _TheLoneCenturion_. After swiping the enter key with her right pinky finger she lifted her latte and waited again.

"By the time that thing's loaded the TARDIS is going to be done refueling," Rory said, strolling over to sit beside his wife with a basket of fish and chips. "You might as well just get a new one."

"How 'bout a cool fifty-first century laptop?" Amy mused while pulling up her Internet browser. "I bet all The Doctor would need to do is flash his handy psychic paper. Or River could just kiss somebody." She squinted her eyes. "How big do you think laptops are in the fifty-first century anyway? Like this?" she asked, pinching her thumb and index finger together so that barely a slit of light could be seen between them.

"You could always ask him."

"Or I could just pickpocket him."

Rory stared at her with a chip halfway into his mouth. He bit down on it and crunched slowly before asking, "You didn't…"

Amy grinned mischievously and dipped her hand into her wallet. A moment later she retrieved a wallet sized object and then leaned in before Rory could ask questions, silencing him with a savory latte flavored kiss. She slid her arm, object in hand, around the side of his head and just when he was relaxing into the kiss she popped it loudly against the back of his sandy blond head.

"Hey!" he screeched. "What was that for?"

Amy grinned and dropped the wallet into his lap. "It's yours, Stupid Face. I picked it from you while you were getting napkins."

"So that's what that hug was for?" he scowled. But try as he might, Rory couldn't keep up the face for long. His eyes slipped over to peek at her laptop screen again. "Loaded?"

"Yep," she nodded. "I'm checking my e-mail right – _oh!_"

Rory's right eyebrow piqued. "We won the raffle on Raxacoricofallapatorius last week?"

"Nope!" Amy chirped, pushing a sheet off fire colored hair over her left shoulder. "I got a review!"

Rory groaned and let his head fall forward onto the table. "Please tell me you're not still writing real person smut on ."

Amy folded her arms stubbornly. "Everybody does it," she argued. "Besides, who doesn't want to read a little smut about _The Doctor_?"

"You're my wife!"

Amy patted Rory's head. "I love you too, Mr. Pond." She clicked onto the review notification e-mail and pitched forward eagerly. As soon as the e-mail seemed done loading there was a _pop_ and the screen went black. "No!" Amy jumped up. "Rubbish piece of –"

"Propeller beanie!" The Doctor's voice interrupted. "I wear a propeller beanie now!"

Rory slowly lifted his head from the table and his eyes were instantly drawn to the outlandishly rainbow striped propeller beanie sitting atop The Doctor's head. "Where on Earth – no, strike that – where in the_ universe_ did you get _that?_"

The Doctor pointed out the window to a clown in a suit that looked like it had just fallen into a free for all Skittles dye bath. Large bushes of hair the color of maraschino cherry juice were attached to the sides of his head, but the top of his head was conveniently bald.

"You should've weaseled him out of his nose too," Amy said. "It would make you look _less_ ridiculous."

"Propeller beanies are cool!"

"Why don't we just call up River at Stormcage and see who she sides with on this, hm?"

The Doctor clamped his hands over his propeller beanie. "You'll do no such thing!" He deliberately walked around the table and sat down in front of Rory, shifting his seat as far away from the redhead as possible. "You just keep your hands to yourself!"

"Oh don't get your tweed in a bunch," she scoffed. As she reached for the rim of her laptop something sparked beneath her fingertips. "Ouch!" she hissed, pulling her hand back to rub the offended tissue. There were even a few tiny spirals of smoke rising from her singed fingernails.

Rory sprang up and pulled Amy close to him. "How long has it been doing that?"

"Never! It's not even plugged in!"

Suddenly the screen began to crackle and a noise that sounded like a cross between a hissing cat and a sparking live wire in the rain began to emanate from the speakers. Amy and Rory scooted back as The Doctor arose and skirted around behind them. Light was popping on the screen as the latter flipped his wrist out and his sonic screwdriver fell into his hand from his sleeve. He began to wave the green light up, down, and sideways at the monitor and keyboard. "What have you been doing on this?" he demanded.

"Nothing!" But at Rory's glare, Amy pushed her arms up to her shoulders and sheepishly added. "Just some silly fanfiction…"

"Fanfiction? What's _fanfiction_?"

"It's –"

"_Deleted!"_

The three time travelers froze. They could feel the hairs on the backs of their necks rise, just as the old cliché turn of phrase went. And then they saw it: an oval shaped silver head with hollow black eyes and metal tubes jutting out the sides of its head to connect into a square above it. "A Cyberman!"

"You. Will. Be. _Deleted!_"

Amy pointed frantically to her laptop. "Doctor, how can a Cyberman be in my laptop?"

The Doctor jutted out his arm, keeping his companions at a distance. "Stay back! Stay! Back!" he hollered, keeping his sonic screwdriver pointed fruitlessly at the monitor. "That's not a Cyberman!"

"Then what _is_ it?" Rory demanded. "Because it sure looks a hell of a lot like a Cyberman to me!"

The Doctor shook his head. "It's not a Cyber_man_, it's a Cyber_bully_."

"You have got to be kidding me," Amy glared. "A Cyberman is in my laptop and you're joshing?"

"I am most certainly not! That is a Cyberbully. They're a rare breed of Cybermen." He looked over his shoulder at the ginger. "What, exactly, were you doing to attract its attention?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"She posted smut!" Rory blurted out.

"Smut? Sm – what kind of smut?" The Doctor demanded.

Amy winced. "Doctor smut?"

"You – you _what?_"

"It was harmless!"

"She broke the rules and posted it about you!"

"This is worse than I thought," The Doctor cringed. "You must have attracted the attention of Critics United."

"Critics United?" Amy and Rory chorused together.

"They're a vigilante group of Cyberbullies that go after online users that violate online agreements. They're ruthless! Their goal is to delete the offense…and then violently delete the offender!"

"How do we stop them?" Rory begged.

"You. Wrote. Toxic. Waste. You. Will. Be. _Deleted!_ Delete! Delete!" Sparks began to fly out from the screen. One hit the backrest of the wooden chair Amy had been sitting on, burning a hole clean through it. Another flew across the café and hit a pile of napkins, alighting it.

"We have to work together." The Doctor said, backing up to stand alongside his companions. "We have to make a stand!" He pulled an extraordinary fat book out of his tiny tweed pocket and handed it to Rory.

"What's this?"

"The Shadow Proclamation pocket guide. Look up page…four-thousand. _I think._"

"You think?"

"Just do it!" The Doctor wrapped his arm around Amy's shoulders as the snarls of blue electricity began to coalesce in Amy's seat.

Rory flipped furiously. "What am I looking for?"

"Universal Community Netiqutte!"

"And how is that going to help?"

"Doctor!" Amy tugged on the latter's sleeve. "It's formed."

The Cyberbully's mouth lit up with blue lights: "Fic. Is. Sh – sh – sh –"

"_Language!"_ The Doctor shouted.

The Cyberbully shuddered at the sound of The Doctor's voice. "You. Will. Be. _Deleted!_" It raised its arm at Amy.

"'R-respect your fellow members!'" Rory shouted. "You can't say those things about my wife and then delete her! How is that respectful?"

The Cyberbully turned its head to face Rory. Its mouth lit up again: "I. Am. Follow–ing. The. Rules."

"You're in direct violation of the 'no killing clause,'" The Doctor responded, glancing over Rory's shoulder at the page. "Therefore you're_ also_ a violator."

"Yeah!" Amy agreed, pointing an accusatory finger at the Cyberbully. "How would you like it if we deleted _you_?"

"I. Will. Not. Be. Deleted."

Amy snatched The Doctor's screwdriver out of his hand and pointed it threateningly. "Oh yeah?" she challenged. "Just try me!"

"No!" The Doctor cried, pushing her arms down. "Don't sink to their level!"

"But they're trying to kill us!"

"But we're better than they are."

"He's right!"

Amy looked over her shoulder to see one of the barista boys holding up his cell phone.

"What if we just fix our mistakes?"

Amy blanched. "By deleting my smut?"

"You don't have to delete it!" the barista boy shouted. "Just move it to a smut acceptable location! You have a copy of it, don't you?"

Amy groaned. "On my laptop."

"Don't worry!" a female customer from across the café shouted. "What's your screenname, I'll just save a copy to my flash drive!"

"The Girl Who Waited," Amy called back.

Meanwhile, the Cyberbully lifted its wrist again and a red charge began to sizzle. "Delete!"

Rory hurled the Shadow Proclamation pocket handbook at The Doctor and charged for Amy, knocking her to the ground as the red laser light flew over their heads. They watched in horror as the light flew across the room, striking the barista boy in the shoulder.

"No!" Amy scrambled out from under her husband and darted behind the counter. She cradled the young man in her arms. "That wasn't meant for you," she whispered.

"It's o – okay," he whimpered. "I – I've p-posted songfic before." His eyes began to tear up. "I – I deserved it."

Amy shook her head. "No. No! Nobody deserves this kind of treatment!" She shuddered as the young man's hand fell limp to the waxy floor. She carefully pushed his eyelids down and her eyes fell to his nametag: _Ted_. She extracted the cell phone that was still locked between his fingers.

"Saved!" hollered the female customer.

Amy burst out from behind the counter, thrumming her thumb against the buttons on Ted's phone. When she was done she held up the phone with her thumb hovering over a single button. "This is for Ted!" she shouted, hitting the button and deleting her smut fiction.

The Cyberbully seemed satisfied at first, for as much as an emotionless drone could express emotion that is. Then it began to shake and convulse, spiking with blue cracks of electricity with every movement.

"Get down!" The Doctor hollered, pouncing on Rory.

In turn, Amy grabbed the lady customer by her arm and they ducked underneath the table. Amy felt an incredible heat permeate the room and for at least ten seconds she saw nothing but a blue-white flash. When the noise had faded to silence and she could see a full color spectrum again she peeked out from under the table. "Doctor? Rory?"

"We're fine," Rory groaned.

"What was that?" the customer asked. "I mean, I know you said it was a 'Cyberbully,' but how did you do that?" She mimed the explosion with her hands and arms.

"I didn't," The Doctor said, pointing to Amy. "She did."

"But you said not to destroy it! I didn't, I just deleted my fic –"

"You did the one thing that caused the Cyberbully to self destruct: the right thing. You didn't feed into it, you banded together to stop its crusade and you won. You and you," The Doctor said, first pointing to Amy and then pointing to the woman beside her.

"Justine."

"Justine," The Doctor nodded. "And…" His head turned slowly towards the counter.

"Ted." Amy whispered.

"I'm sorry," The Doctor murmured.

Amy wiped her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't know this would happen."

"It's okay," The Doctor soothed, embracing her. "This wasn't your fault."

"But if I hadn't broken the rules –"

"The Cyberbullies would've gone after someone else. Cyberbullies are cruel. They hide behind technicalities to justify their crimes and they only hurt others. That's not to say that you were innocent in breaking the rules either, but that still doesn't mean that they had any right to do what they did to you, Ted, or anyone else."


End file.
